Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Internet

There's not much that can piss me off more than a non-working Internet.

After billions of [insert currency] being invested in it, after decades of making it better, after years of paying for the fucking provider and the traffic and the speed and what fuck not, it's not working.

You open five tabs and it all gets blocked up. Some it opens with no problem, some it just won't and thus breaks the whole CPU usage, crashes everything and makes me flip out like I rarely do.

Fucking Internet!

Fuck fuck fuck! Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

I look around and there's not enough swear words. I yell, but I restrain myself, because I think someone might hear me and think I've got my leg clenched in between two trucks. Or my scalp stuck in the over doors. Something like that.

The windows are simply not closed enough.

Maybe I could rent a recording studio once a month and just scream there until someone kicks me out.

I get that feeling I get when I see a fly come into the room and bang against the glass window a hundred times. It won't learn. It sees what it wants and it knows it's freedom, but it can't get there.

I think to myself oh man, how stupid are these flies and I help it out by trying to get it to fly under the window and out into the garden.

They really are that stupid.

And then it hits me that I might be that fly. That someone else is looking down on me and laughing at my silliness.

Look. What a stupid boy.

Surely someone with a CRS-3 connection.

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