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Hasta la vista!
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Friday, July 11, 2014
Lexophilology
"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using words in rather unique ways, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best one is held every year.
This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married.
They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping Centre, you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the wretched crop:
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married.
They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping Centre, you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the wretched crop:
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
A winter update
Winter's here. It came a while ago.
A winter that would make you laugh. It's 16°C at the moment. My mate G and I call it not-summer, as we spent big chunks of our lives living in Europe.
This is not winter. But it doesn't mean it's not cold, especially since I've apparently gotten spoilt rotten by the hot weather here.
The flowers are blooming, the chilli plants on my balcony are sprouting all over again and the cloudy sky is coloured dreamily every night.
Night means five o'clock. No daylight saving means it's pitch black at 17:30. Shower means five days of torrential rain. The temperature at night goes down to 2°C – and then it's 20 all over again during the day.
People are scraping off frost off their windscreens in the morning and jogging shirtless in the arvo¹.
It's ridiculous. It's 15 and I'm jumping into a hoodie and thick socks. I am ridiculous. As people are migrating to the coast in Croatia, I've migrated onto my lounge and developed a relatively close relation with my duvet².
Am I going to have to get used to cold weather again after spending two years getting used to insanely high temperatures?
This is silly.
¹ Arvo is Australian for afternoon.
² Duvet is Australian for quilt.
A winter that would make you laugh. It's 16°C at the moment. My mate G and I call it not-summer, as we spent big chunks of our lives living in Europe.
This is not winter. But it doesn't mean it's not cold, especially since I've apparently gotten spoilt rotten by the hot weather here.
The flowers are blooming, the chilli plants on my balcony are sprouting all over again and the cloudy sky is coloured dreamily every night.
Night means five o'clock. No daylight saving means it's pitch black at 17:30. Shower means five days of torrential rain. The temperature at night goes down to 2°C – and then it's 20 all over again during the day.
People are scraping off frost off their windscreens in the morning and jogging shirtless in the arvo¹.
It's ridiculous. It's 15 and I'm jumping into a hoodie and thick socks. I am ridiculous. As people are migrating to the coast in Croatia, I've migrated onto my lounge and developed a relatively close relation with my duvet².
Am I going to have to get used to cold weather again after spending two years getting used to insanely high temperatures?
This is silly.
¹ Arvo is Australian for afternoon.
² Duvet is Australian for quilt.
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