I go to bed early, since I made a strong resolution to finally get some sleep. Midnight isn't even close yet and it puts a grin on my face. I might go to bed before midnight one day. Yay.
Even though the shutters are down, I can see light being turned off and on in the back yard. It's all white outside, so it shines even brighter when the goofiest dog in the world walks by the sensor and turns the light bulb on.
I can turn the blinds all the way down, but then there's a risk of sleeping in and waking up at four in the afternoon the next day ― or should I say evening, since that's when it's already dark. That would make a full circle indeed.
So, I write some emails, say hi to some friends, watch another lame Hollywood blockbuster (I really have to make myself stop doing that) and it's two already. So much for sleeping. I can barely keep my eyes open to push the laptop away and I doze off. And not in a good way.
I keep waking up during the night, since I obviously kick the covers off and freeze my ass off. I have these insane dreams ― all the time. I'm in India, but there's someone there to take me away. Or I'm going somewhere, but someone stops me. Or I'm enjoying my friends' company, but someone immensely creepy slides in. Or I'm being chased ― that happens often.
I wake up for what seems the seventh time, still unaware of how late or early it is. I swear at myself for being such a lame person to subject my life to that of a dog. And it's not even my dog.
My eyes are still half shut and I'm too paranoid to turn the light on and check the time. Even when I pick up my phone to check it out, the light is too bright. And it wouldn't change anything anyway.
[The dog is barking like mad as I'm typing this...]
I've been waking up early lately. Well, earlier than usual. Although it's late. If that makes any sense. I wake up a couple of minutes before the buzzer goes wild. I can sleep twenty hours a day, so you can imagine why I find it so disturbing.
And it happens this morning as well. So I lie on my back and try to figure out how much light there is outside. I'm thinking how many seconds will pass until the alarm goes off. I count up to five and I'm bored already.
There's a door bell and someone walking down the stairs. A phone rings, some neighbours are chatting and I'm pissed off. Once again I'm letting my life be less important than others'. One day I'll hit the headlines under Ran berserk towards two neighbours with a lighter and a can of hair spray. Presumably on a windy day, so I'd just end up locked up with people who talk to their toes. Maybe they'd stuff me with Eszopiclone, Zaleplon and Zolpidem and then I'd finally get some sleep.
It feels surreal and suddenly I see images from Fight Club. Is this me? Or a copy? Have I seen it in the film, or maybe it was a dream. Did I dream about it? I try to make some sense out of all those images, but I can't even remember glimpses of them ― they're all mashed up and blurry.
In the end, the resolution I've made turns into the tiniest possible resolution you can imagine ― 5x7 pixels or something around that size. My whole visible spectre has boiled down to 35 dots that are just a bit brighter than complete darkness. I can't see anything in it, especially when I don't get my sleep.
Even though the shutters are down, I can see light being turned off and on in the back yard. It's all white outside, so it shines even brighter when the goofiest dog in the world walks by the sensor and turns the light bulb on.
I can turn the blinds all the way down, but then there's a risk of sleeping in and waking up at four in the afternoon the next day ― or should I say evening, since that's when it's already dark. That would make a full circle indeed.
So, I write some emails, say hi to some friends, watch another lame Hollywood blockbuster (I really have to make myself stop doing that) and it's two already. So much for sleeping. I can barely keep my eyes open to push the laptop away and I doze off. And not in a good way.
I keep waking up during the night, since I obviously kick the covers off and freeze my ass off. I have these insane dreams ― all the time. I'm in India, but there's someone there to take me away. Or I'm going somewhere, but someone stops me. Or I'm enjoying my friends' company, but someone immensely creepy slides in. Or I'm being chased ― that happens often.
I wake up for what seems the seventh time, still unaware of how late or early it is. I swear at myself for being such a lame person to subject my life to that of a dog. And it's not even my dog.
My eyes are still half shut and I'm too paranoid to turn the light on and check the time. Even when I pick up my phone to check it out, the light is too bright. And it wouldn't change anything anyway.
[The dog is barking like mad as I'm typing this...]
I've been waking up early lately. Well, earlier than usual. Although it's late. If that makes any sense. I wake up a couple of minutes before the buzzer goes wild. I can sleep twenty hours a day, so you can imagine why I find it so disturbing.
And it happens this morning as well. So I lie on my back and try to figure out how much light there is outside. I'm thinking how many seconds will pass until the alarm goes off. I count up to five and I'm bored already.
There's a door bell and someone walking down the stairs. A phone rings, some neighbours are chatting and I'm pissed off. Once again I'm letting my life be less important than others'. One day I'll hit the headlines under Ran berserk towards two neighbours with a lighter and a can of hair spray. Presumably on a windy day, so I'd just end up locked up with people who talk to their toes. Maybe they'd stuff me with Eszopiclone, Zaleplon and Zolpidem and then I'd finally get some sleep.
It feels surreal and suddenly I see images from Fight Club. Is this me? Or a copy? Have I seen it in the film, or maybe it was a dream. Did I dream about it? I try to make some sense out of all those images, but I can't even remember glimpses of them ― they're all mashed up and blurry.
In the end, the resolution I've made turns into the tiniest possible resolution you can imagine ― 5x7 pixels or something around that size. My whole visible spectre has boiled down to 35 dots that are just a bit brighter than complete darkness. I can't see anything in it, especially when I don't get my sleep.
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