Saturday, February 25, 2012

Bihevioral existence

Once again I'm thinking about something I often find myself thinking about. About the fact that everyone's been talking about some big changes. Twenty-twelve and all that stuff. It won't be an apocalypse, but it'll be an immense switch in the collective consciousness. Well, at least I think so.

I'm not so much into conspiracies and theories thereof, so I can't say for sure. I didn't even read that much about it. The most I've done is talked to some friends about it over tea. But that kept me thinking.

Maybe it will be a big change that will, during a longer course of time, change the world as we know it. The same way fire did. The same way industrialization has. Electricity, Internet, whatever.

But then I started thinking about what it will mean to individuals. How will I change?

I'm a quite bitter person, if you haven't noticed. I'm bothered with a lot of stuff and I'll rant about whatever I can. People, naturally, don't like that. Well, some don't, in any case. I reckon people want to let go and unwind for a bit. There's a nice Croatian phrase that pictures it as letting the brain out into the pasture.

I wish I could do that. I wish there was an on-off button. I've always wanted that. Either that or a third arm.

I digress.

People have told me often that I have to relax. Let it go. There's nothing to do. Chill out.

But what does that mean? Let go of what? Of myself and who I consider myself to be? Won't that make someone else then?

I bet if I was all peachy and grinning, people would think I'm on some experimental stuff. Would that be me? Can you tell someone who's utterly and disgustingly happy all the time to bring it down a notch, get serious and land down to Earth already? How would that make them feel?

So, I'm looking towards the end of the world. Well, my world at least. And what? Am I supposed to forget who I am and just act like I'm someone else, only to make some people feel better? Better about who? About myself or about themselves?

If I want to change the way I act, I must first change the way I think. If I change the way I think, would that be me? Cogito ergo sum comes to mind.

If I change myself for others' sake, am I working on myself or am I doing the exact opposite – working hard on losing myself?


  1. Nemoj se mjenjati zbog drugih, nikada. Jer drugi prolaze, a ti ostajes. Mjenjas se kada sam odlucis da je nesto dobro za tebe ili ne.

    To sto si bitter, hebiga neko je bitter, neko je hepi. Nekada nam obje vrste idu na zivce. Nekada nitko.

    Ja se drzim onog think positive i ne volim kukati oko necega sto ne mogu promijeniti. Kukam oko onoga sto mogu jer inace, koja svrha, kao sto si napisao da su ti vec neki rekli :)

    Smak svijeta - maye nisu brojali leap year dane, tako da je u teoriji sada vec 2013 po njihovom kalendaru.. Ono been there, nothing happened :)


    1. Baš sam čitao o tome s Mayama neki dan. Kako li se nitko dosad nije sjetio ponovno pobrojati te godine?

  2. I'm glad you brought this subject up. Don't know if we already talked about it or not but I always wanted to..The way I see it is that we are not our personalities. We are so much beyond that. Actually we can be whatever we want. We always have a choice to pick up a role to play in a given situation - you can get angry, you can stay calm or whatever. The fact is that all our experiences determined the way we act, feel, think but it's just a program. It takes energy to reinstall the new software but that's what it is, a software and You are the one writing the code ;) Did you ever felt like you wanna get naked, I mean get really naked, to the bones? Sometimes I get so tired of all those images of me because that's not what I am. It would be so deliberating to lose *myself*. You know, like that feeling when you do something new, something that *you* would never do? I live for those moments and still, must admit, don't always have enough courage to embrace them as they come but I'm working on that. And yes...I am wondering will this trip is going to change you and make you suddenly a *cheerful not give a fuck person* :D or you'll always stick to čangrizavi psydeda..doesn't matter. Whatever works for you and makes you achieve fulfillment, that's the only thing it counts :*

    1. I like the thought about all of us being so much more than personalities. Will ponder upon this for a lot more, that's for sure...

      And considering the courage and taking a leap... I think one must be the type to do that, to be that brave and take the first step. In no way do I believe we should all be that way or we'd end up in a world even crazier than this one.

      Those who are meant to do it, do it; and those who don't - well, maybe they're just not meant to do it after all.

  3. ..and know I see a bunch of mistakes ahaha hope didn't give you a headache :D *liberating*



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