Gray

Finding the first gray hair is pretty much depressing all over.

I knew I had it coming, but I didn't expect them so soon. So by the time I was twenty-five, I had more of them than my older brother did.

Then you find one in your beard.

And note that I don't actually have a beard. I'm incapable of growing one. It's just this annoying stuff growing out of my face. I can't grow a proper one, but if I don't shave it I look like a dweeb.

Not tolerable.

Then you find one coming out of your nose. You pluck it out (because they're unnaturally long) and hope it will never come back.

And the other day I scratch my ear and experience pain. I caught a hair in between my fingers and pinched it. Geez.

I'm not getting old. I am old.

(No photo.)