scientific pain

it's been a while since i've written anything (about two days or so) and my hands are already shaking. it looks like i'm viable to becoming one of those blog freaks, who update their page every time they wash their hands. well, at least until i become too lazy or simply go berserk and little-red-x-button the whole thing...

today feels like it was a long day. started off so early (in my terms) that i could barely open my eyes in the morning. i literally had to talk myself into cracking my eye lids open, kind of motivation-speech like. you know how people always shoot those fake wake ups in movies and stuff? well, if they starred me, that scene would take up a fifth of the whole thing.

if i ever invest in myself, as in go to a course to upgrade my knowledge, i'd have to find one that'd make me grow on to a normal biorhythm (love the word rhythm, by the way). another thing would possibly be the fast-reading course, which proves to be extremely useful - especially for airheads like me. and third, probably a photography course, being something more usual and, well, normal.

see how i wander off? i was gonna say something about my day and i'm already at a photo course. today was a really weird day at the uni and it seemed like everyone was there. i ran into, met or saw eighteen of my professors (i counted), five good friends and some people i haven't seen in ages. when i was in the library struggling to translate the word liver into lithuanian, there was a tour around the library. twenty or so people being shown the library. in english. out loud. in the library. twenty. library.

that, of course, made everyone loosen up, so you had people chatting, talking on the phone and giggling and within a blink of an eye, i could see it all in my head: a waiter coming by, taking orders and bringing the whole crowd some nice three-colour cocktails with umbrellas; some summery-dressed girls and guys miraculously taking some chairs and sunscreen out of nowhere; shooting the new commercial for t-mobile which say something like the whole world's here for me - and my loved ones or something even cornier, if possible.

note that i'm still sitting in the library (i haven't gone very far physically, right) and i'm still staring at the papers, still not being able to remember the lithuanian word. i know the sanskrit and the latin one, even the greek. and i know what the lithuanian word for heart it, but where has liver gone?

by this time the tour is over, everyone has quieted down and the three-minute interference is more a disappointment now that an actual annoyance. i mean, i do despise loud talkers, really. it must be people who really don't have a bloody feeling in themselves and think they're the only ones. it's a fucking library, for crying out loud. get the fuck out and talk on your fucking phone!

by the way, if there's another tour, i'm so zapping them off and turning them into an amoeba or worse!

(pics obviusly not by me...)

or those people who've obviously imagined that they can whisper really quietly, but in reality you can hear every single one of their fricatives even better than their co-whisperer. and note that i usually have ear phones, through which i can hear the giggles of two sophomores, both with braces and braids (they don't really have braces and braids, but this is how i see them).

anyway, i'm wandering off again. what i wanted to point out is that i have a good feeling about today. it's been long, tiring and filled up like a bosnian paprika, but it felt ok in a way. nothing really special or motivating happened, but at least i got to realize what knowledge i was missing. the exam is coming closer and closer, so i've come up with a plan.

i'm gonna imagine that my uni is my full-time job. so i'm planning to go to the library every day and study for eight hours. that would boil down to let's say six hours of quality studying plus lunch and coffee break. six hours is quite decent if i sit down and actually do some work. weekends will be free and a time to go out a bit, meet up for drinks or go visit some mates.

i'm also planning to take some courses on the side, like the course that'd help me freshen up my memory considering this whole exam. and there's a course about orientalism on tuesdays, which would make a nice (but scientific) break from the all-day nerdiness.

at this pace i should be quite ready for the exam by november 24th. oh, i'm such a pep talker. i'm talking myself into making myself move my ass. nice. really motivating. but anyway, i hope it will work - it has to. so i'm posting this, getting another snack and i'm preparing the stuff for tomorrow.

another glorious day, as dexter would say. i'm beginning to resemble him in fact, with the specs and all. i might as well get a briefcase then, but that's just look ridiculous. so i hope there's no dee dees tomorrow and the day goes by completely filled with science and knowledge. and a coffee. and some lunch.

so, day zero over. now let's treat ourselves...

Bliss by adhamshaikh