Trolls

I've given up on so many forums already that it's ridiculous. Trolls who have nothing better to do than, well, troll–and through that chase people off. The result is an empty forum, where those same trolls get to rant to themselves about how everyone else sucks.

A thing as bad as a troll is a smartarse. Someone who believes (and isn't afraid to say, i.e. type it under a nickname) they're the only ones with the right opinion, everyone else is childish and inexperienced, they know better than everyone else because of XY etc.

I don't really mind as there will always be trolls, but when it reaches a certain point, is stops being annoying and starts being hilarious. Yes, in that order. I've had people cornered because they came to the point where they'd run away from a discussion by saying you're stupid or something along those lines. Very mature indeed.

The funny thing is I thought that sort of behaviour ends when people are 19, but obviously not for everyone. Living a couple of continents away, the biggest chunk of me communication happens over the internet. And, boy, do I run into piles of crap there!

A recent (for the lack of a better word) discussion made me feel like slapping the person across the forehead with a wet, old, stinky stuffed bunny for all the disrespect, annoyance, egotism and what not she's launched in my direction. I'll simplify the conversation that extends through fifteen or so posts over several weeks.

XY asks me: So how does that work with people?
Me: Well, in my experience, it's like this and this.
Mrs Buttwad: No [corrects my spelling], it's like this [totally different].
Me: Sorry, but I don't like you correcting me on something that's clearly a personal opinion and correct spelling.
Mrs Buttwad: Well, I know better because I've lived here longer. You're a newb.
Me: Yeah, but the literature says that's wrong.
Mrs Buttwad: Well, I don't care about that. And those people [talking about a whole nation with a 50,000 year old culture] feel like this and this and that's why they use this term. If you check Wittgenstein [and the Little Book of Bullshit], you'll see that bla bla...
Me: So you've characterised a whole nation in one sentence. Right. Well, you're wrong about this and–again–please don't correct me unless I'm wrong. I'm done with this discussion because you're disrespectful and we're going in circles.
Mrs Buttwad: Shut up.
Me: Very mature. Thanks for explaining things you have no idea about.
Mrs Buttwad: Well, I'm glad I saved you from the ignorance. [My jaw hits the keyboard at this point.]
Me: Yeah, good thing you know better than all the experts in the world.
Mrs Buttwad: That's better. Now you still have to mean it and then mind it. For your sake.

Photo Diary

The family came over for a visit. This is what our weekend was like.

The girl from the park.

My apartment's right across a park so sometimes I'll sit on the balcony and look around.

I'm not the active type, you see. I'll park my arse on the camping chair, sip gin and tonic, and observe (although not in a creepy way). There's a lady walking her dog, two girlfriends sweating off with a personal trainer, couples running in circles, kids playing cricket, two mates catching a frisbee, a dad and his son chasing a football.

And there's this girl. She's always around the edge of the park, and I only rarely see her. I should say I barely see her. I hear her.

She swoops from one leg to the other as if unsure of which way to go, clutching onto her music player with both hands. It looks like a CD player more than a mobile phone, which reminds me of me looking at the cassette player in the same way older generations used to gaze at the gramophone with melancholy in their eyes and their heart.

So the girl walks around the park, but she doesn't get far. She sings out loud and she's got a beautiful voice, which makes me think why she has to leave her place to sing. Sing in a park.

I'd hear her in between cars driving past or while doing the dishes. I can't make out what the song is, but it sounds amazing.

Well, it did. I haven't heard her in a long time.

Rant at the tip of my tongue (but I'll talk about my vacation instead)

I feel like a rant's due, but it's just not coming out. Maybe there's too much going on in my head, and I'm fairly busy at work, so I can't even find the time to commit to it.

Sleep eludes me. It started off with jet lag and turned into long, drowsy and rainy days, sleepless nights and very, very troublesome mornings.

The other morning I slept through two alarms, until a third one went off in the living room. Needless to say, I was late for work and the whole day turned into a busy, yawning blur. I did manage to do heaps of work, but when I get home and am supposed to rest and recuperate, productivity seeps through by fingers.

My recent trip to the Middle East and Europe went well – and in a blink of an eye. Dubai was amazing! Even though it's not a place I'd visit for the sake of it, one has to be impressed by what's been raised out of the sand. Everything's nice and clean; the people are beautiful and there's not a single crease on their clothes; it's all about shopping and bling and power. There are a lot of issues with the Emirates, but I wasn't going to surround myself with that and decided to enjoy what I could.

I left my things at the hotel (Emirates paid for it as I had a 17-hour layover), took a shower and took the Metro into the city. It took me ages to get through the Dubai Mall (the largest in the world – not my cup of tea) before I went on top of the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world.

After five hours up there, it was time for dinner, a swim in the pool and a bit of sleep before my flight to London, which was–as always–so much fun. I managed to meet up with some mates and even run into one (who had no idea I was there) in the streets. Walking around, having beers and getting rained on is something I'd always go for.

Croatia was...nice. I guess home always comes with everything else attached, so the feelings are always a bit mixed. It was definitely nice to spend time meeting up with family and friends, festivalling around the country, camping and running into people. I wish the weather was a bit better as I only managed to take three swims, but hey – another island ticked off the map, so I'm happy.

Portugal was fun, relaxing, intensive, hot, interesting, charming and much more. Lisbon is so cozy and narrow. Boom Festival was mind-blowing, so I'm definitely planning to go back in two years.

A short visit to Vienna to see my mate and it was time to go. It was cold and rainy, which made Australian winter a better choice (what's up with the weather, aye?!).

A flight attendant, originally from Bosnia, approached on the last, 11-hour leg of my trip and saved my day. Wherever you are, bless!

Next time I travel so far for vacation is going to be:

• a week of family and friends,
• two weeks of festivals and mates, and
• three weeks on a tiny island somewhere far away.

So, time to plan starts...now!

(I haven't even gone through all the photos, so this is only what I found on flickr. I hope you've enjoyed it...)

I'm back. And busy at work. Will write soon.

I'm off.

Australia–UAE–UK–Croatia–Portugal–Croatia–Slovenia–Austria–UK–UAE–Australia.

Hasta la vista!

Lexophilology

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using words in rather unique ways, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best one is held every year.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. 
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. 
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. 
The batteries were given out free of charge. 
A dentist and a manicurist married.
They fought tooth and nail. 
A will is a dead giveaway. 
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. 
A boiled egg is hard to beat. 
When you've seen one shopping Centre, you've seen a mall. 
Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. 
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered. 
He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye. 
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
 
And the cream of the wretched crop:
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

A winter update

Winter's here. It came a while ago.

A winter that would make you laugh. It's 16°C at the moment. My mate G and I call it not-summer, as we spent big chunks of our lives living in Europe.

This is not winter. But it doesn't mean it's not cold, especially since I've apparently gotten spoilt rotten by the hot weather here.

The flowers are blooming, the chilli plants on my balcony are sprouting all over again and the cloudy sky is coloured dreamily every night.

Night means five o'clock. No daylight saving means it's pitch black at 17:30. Shower means five days of torrential rain. The temperature at night goes down to 2°C – and then it's 20 all over again during the day.

People are scraping off frost off their windscreens in the morning and jogging shirtless in the arvo¹.

It's ridiculous. It's 15 and I'm jumping into a hoodie and thick socks. I am ridiculous. As people are migrating to the coast in Croatia, I've migrated onto my lounge and developed a relatively close relation with my duvet².

Am I going to have to get used to cold weather again after spending two years getting used to insanely high temperatures?

This is silly.





¹ Arvo is Australian for afternoon.
² Duvet is Australian for quilt.

Fall in Perth

It's proper autumn here in Perth. Winter's coming soon (seasons start on the 1st of March, June, September and December) and I can feel it. Maybe I've gotten spoilt by the hot summers and–for the lack of a better word–mild winters.

The leaves are falling down from the trees, and it instantly urges me to drop everything I'm doing and run through them, resulting in everyone normal out there looking at me like I've gone bonkers. Maybe I'm still a kid deep inside, even though I feel like a grandpa on the outside.

Europeans are excited about summer's approach (despite the floods, storms, earthquakes etc), and here I'm thinking how I'll make it through the winter. Winter, to be fair. I've been waiting for the time when I can actually wear long sleeves and cosy up in my hoodies, but I just hope I won't regret it in a couple weeks' time.

But I'll be going for holidays in Croatia soon enough, and it's going to be summer there. Counting the trips back and forth between continents, I will have had seven summer in a row. I know a couple of people who'd slap me right over my face if I told them that. Different places–different summers though.

An update from the Desert

I’m out bush for the weekend – no work over Saturday and Sunday. Not that’s a rare sight. I’m out for a ten-day field-work trip spread out over fifteen days. The usual, I hear you say... Even though I have a bunch of small things to sort out during this time, it's still nice to be able to kick back and relax – even for a short while.

It's been a weird couple of months. Insanely busy, but also alarmingly edgy. As I've ranted before, I was supposed to go on a trip for my birthday (just to take a couple of badly-needed days off), but the whole trip got cancelled due to a cyclone. I went to Bali for a couple of days after that, but don't tell me it covers for it – it doesn't. Not that I'm ranting...but I am.

Anyway, having gotten home early to go out on this trip, I will have been out of the office for almost a full month. People are telling me I work too hard. I feel that I am working a lot, but when your busy-as co-workers point it out, it must've come to a serious point. They were really happy to hear I was taking a couple of days off – and were as bummed out as me when it didn't happen.

And now it's all busy and it doesn't look like it's getting any calmer (right at this moment there are a couple of Caterpillar pieces of heavy machinery getting refuelled right next to my window as I'm enjoying the fresh air). I'll be going back to Croatia in what is now less than three months' time. I've got a bunch of things to sort out before that, which might prove to be a but tricky, as my calendar and I have obviously gotten in a bit of a fistfight (for the record, I was never notified).

There just seem to be too many things going on. There's definitely too much going on in my head. I can see myself taking one of those courses. You know, the one that makes you more assertive, stand up for yourself, learn to let go and stuff. Like in American movies, yeah.

Anyway, there's chillout music playing, the Sun in shining, and I'm enjoying a cup of ginger and lemon tea. It's all good.

Yupp.

I've really had enough now.

Two days of leave taken. Four days of holidays planned. Flights booked, hotel booked, daytrips booked.

Ita.

Everything cancelled.

A birthday in the company of sore back and diarrhoea.

Yeah, I'm still alive and all that, but give me a break.

My itinerary

I just got back from an eight-day bush trip.

My itinerary for the next couple of weeks is:

• finish off last bits and pieces at work
• early birthday drinks with mates
• fly up to Far North Queensland tomorrow night
• snorkel on the Great Barrier Reef
• fly back home on Tuesday
• a couple of days in the office
• Friday off
• fly to Bali on Saturday
• enjoy surfing (I hope), the view and the pool
• fly back from Bali on Friday
• fly out bush on Sunday
• spend two weeks in the Desert
• fly back home 14 days later

and then it's mid-May.

Crazy, innit?

On the road.

Enough

I've had enough. A break would be well received. Soon.

Attention, all passengers...

I have so many things on my mind that it's hard to relax. That's not usually a problem I have. I don't have issues with lazing on the couch until my back hurts. I really don't. I just reshuffle.

Well, as long as my brain isn't over-analysing everything. That's what it does when it's time to go to bed.

The funny thing is I obsess about stuff that would give other people basis to say yupp, he's gone bonkers. It's sort of a first-world-problem thing, I guess.

What if I get this flight instead of that one?

These three-for-ten-dollars corn chips are a bargain, but I like the other ones more.

It's embarrassing when I realise it and it makes me dislike myself. Why am I spending my time thinking about that?

Of course, it's really hard to talk to people about it, when they're struggling with hospitals and mortgages and shitty families. I just feel like a giant douchebag.

What is it they say – an idle mind is the devil's playground? Well, why the hell is mine like that? It's not idle – that's for sure. It's even worse, because instead of rethinking important stuff, it's struggling to solve trivial things.

I need to sort things out with people, let them know how I feel and what I think, and thus make sure I have less grey hair and fewer stomach cramps in the future. I need to tell people what I find utterly unacceptable and why I think I have a reason to get annoyed. I should chop down my Facebook friends list from 550 to 50, and make sure I surround myself with people I have respect for and who make me grin when I think of them.

And the only thing on my mind is how many extra frequent flyer miles is that?

A photo update from the Northern Territory

Cheers from Sydney...

I'm loving this city!

Random snapshots aka summer in Perth

Embarrassement terrible

It's been so long since I posted anything and it's starting to bug me. Given that I'm at work – taking a break from reviewing a 105-page report – you can imagine to what extent it's actually bugging me.

I just don't know where the time flies and why I can't find any to commit to the things I like. Lately, it's all been about sitting on the couch and staring at the TV. Numbing the pain perhaps.

Lombok was amazing, I'm off to Sydney in two days, but in the meantime (maybe at the airport), I'll try to write a bit more. Sometimes I'm on the train and I wish I could just post my thoughts directly to the blog, because by the time I'm home, it's all gone.

Disliking Murphy's and all similar laws at the moment...

But my Lombok photos are next on the list – hopefully before I end up with hundreds of Sydney photos added to the list. Life's tough, isn't it?

Here's just a quick preview – a photo from Lombok. And yes, that's me. With Bali's Gunung Agung volcano in the background.



Cheers, all!

Lombok

Just a quick greeting from Indonesia: selamat!

And yes, that's me swimming there, with the volcano named Gunung Agung in the background.